Why Body Positivity Doesn’t Apply To ‘Me’

Kindness and appreciation to our body is important but there’s more to say on the topic. 

Body Positivity Is For ‘Other People’

Many of us have shopped with that curvier friend (or maybe we are the curvier friend). We see her try on that empire line dress or the number that cinches in the right place, and the print suits her so well – and she says she looks fat but we tell her she looks beautiful. 

And we mean it.

We see her and she is beautiful. And the colour brings out her eyes and she does look great. Even if she isn’t skinny.

But when it comes to looking at yourself in the mirror?

No dress hides enough. 

No dress will do except THE most skinnifying option possible. We will stop at nothing to find that one dress that skims enough that we can finally be satisfied that we look thin. Even our friends saying the colour or the print or the details are gorgeous – we don’t care. 

Skinny rules. Not beading, not lace, not colour, not even trends.

Here Is Why 

I know why we are so harsh on our own reflection, when we can see beauty in others who aren’t skinny.

You are right when you reject your body holding onto extra weight. 

You are exactly right. Here is why:

Extra weight is not you – but the trauma your body is holding. 

Extra weight is birth trauma when you’re suddenly stuck with the hugest responsibility of your life – and no one is there with you in the moment. And those feelings are huge, too huge to feel so you push them down in a way you know how to.

Extra weight is that awkward first bra fitting when you were looked at and poked and prodded and felt uncomfortably on display. And your body said, I don’t like being looked at like that – I’ll protect myself with layers of fat so no one will ever see me again.

Extra weight is becoming a teenager and growing up and a man on a bus looking at you weird. And maybe attempting to talk to you or touch you or more. And you feeling ashamed and embarrassed about what exactly you did wrong to be noticed – and piling on those protective layers of weight.

Extra weight is coming home after a difficult day and no one notices or asks how you are doing – and yet there’s food there pushed at you.

Extra weight is going through a really difficult time, maybe your child going through illness, your beloved mother losing her independence – unsupported – only food is there to comfort you.

Extra weight is trauma.

Do you see that now?

In EFT we gently and powerfully go back and heal the traumas stuck in the subconscious.
Your relationship with food is your relationship with yourself, and with everything.

For the women who come saying, ‘I don’t want to work on my body image, I want to lose the weight.’ – I get you.

Of course it’s important that we are kind and gentle and loving with our bodies. But don’t resign yourself to your fate while feeling like that body isn’t you.

 The Subconscious Is The Key

For anyone struggling with sticking to a diet plan or eating according to a schedule, it’s so important to understand and have compassion for yourself knowing your subconscious is what’s fighting you.

How much easier would it be when your subconscious is aligned with a healthy body that feels like the right size for you – with no subconscious reasons to hold you back?

We Treat Many Things By Healing The Subconscious

i don’t just see clients for emotional eating. My job as an EFT practitioner is to leverage the subconscious in some other areas too.

If you have a triggering or difficult situation with a child, and you want to be the best mother for that kid and surround him with love and positivity only, but you are struggling to actualize that – imagine what you could do once your subconscious is truly aligned. Every trigger is from a memory of the past, a trauma stuck in the subconscious.

It is the same when I work with women looking for a more meaningful marriage. 

For every client that has walked through my door struggling with alignment of energy with her husband – and I’m talking about the most amazing, dedicated, deeply introspective women just like you are – we always end up talking and tapping about early memories of when your parents didn’t come through. We picked up subconsciously that we’re alone, no one quite understands us – and that belief is injected into our reality.

TL;DR – Too Long; Don’t Read 😉

I’ve said a lot today. 

If there’s just one thing I have to say to you it’s this: 

What could you do, and who could you be, if your subconsious was truly aligned with the wonderful and beautiful and strong and wise woman you are becoming? 

EFT is the methodology. I’m here to hold that space for you and guide you through this spiritually and physically healing work. 

Change is just around the corner. Yalla. Elul diary is open for the women who are serious about making an improvement. Whatsapp me 🙂

Lots of love

Avigail Benezra

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